My Anaconda

Music is one of the many privileges I have lost since having children. Not that I don't veto their song choices every so often, but I find myself cleaning or cooking to the Fresh Beat Band or Bubble Guppies or Elmo's Musical more often than not. I figure there comes a time in a parent's life when one must decide if  (insert action)  in peace is worth listening to the shrill sounds of happy go lucky children's shows and I have embraced my decision. My husband, on the other hand, still believes he is in control of the household (probably because his work schedule only allows him to be home on the weekends). He hasn't quite learned the idea of choosing one's battles and I watch him tirelessly choose them all. As much as I'd love to discuss the differences in mine and my husband's parenting, this post is regarding "today's top 40." I'm talking about the half hour I wait in line to pick up my eldest son from school, the quick trips to the super market, and the long trips to soccer practice. I'm talking about the car RADIO. 

Now my husband usually has his iPod ready to go and the children have been trained to not even ask to hear something different, but when I am at the wheel, my children are very vocal about their preferences. Pop music seems to resonate with their little heads, which isn't my favorite genre these days, but I don't mind something with a beat I can dance (in my car) to, so I often oblige. Unfortunately, bringing my iPod has yet to be a priority in my rush to get children out the door and somewhere public on time. In fact, I'm not even sure where my iPod is located at the moment. Often I have resorted to listening to the radio, but this serves many problems that someone without children might not think about. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to shelter my children to the point of them being socially awkward, but sometimes I wonder where I should draw the line. 

My husband will listen to music without even noticing the lyrics, but my children are hearing EVERY WORD. So when the day came that I was folding clothes and overheard Jacson (5 yrs old) singing, "what you gonna do with that big fat butt?" and Liam (2yrs old)  responds, "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle," well first I laughed hysterically, but then I got worried.  What other songs have they heard and would they repeat and in front of whom? To my astonishment, my children enlightened me on all of their favorite hits that week. Amongst the random outbursts of Twinkle Twinkle and ABCs, I also heard my two year old repeating a line from an old school classic, "OH MY GOD, Look at her BUTT!" It was morning and I could hear him over the baby monitor. He kept saying this line over and over again and it took me a while to realize just what it was. At one point he changed "her butt" to "Elmo's butt" and then laughed at himself. I decided that instead of stressing about this I would take pride in the fact that my two year old not only has a sense of humor, but can creatively make his own jokes.

I've also noticed, as of late, that Jason Derulo has incredibly annoying lyrics that make conversations with my five year old awkward. I thought I liked the beat to Talk Dirty until Jacson asked what, "your booty don't need explaining" meant. This was an interesting conversation in which I carefully explained the concept of body language and how one might know how a person is feeling based on certain movements. Being that his attention span is that of a kindergartener, I'm sure he not only heard my entire explanation but internalized it as well. And don't even get me started on Trumpets. Is it too much to ask for a song that simply says when I see you I hear music? Apparently, he only hears music when she's naked...and yes, it is weird that her bra reminds him of a Katy Perry song and he hears trumpets when she's turning him on. I have to be honest Jason, If a guy were to say that to me I'd put my shirt back on and encourage him to go talk to Tove Lo who is "high all the time," much like yourself. 

But alas, I digress, a few of my favorite POP songs on the radio right now are Sia's Chandelier, Boom Clap by Charli XCX, Sky full of Stars by Cold Play, and Habits by Tove Lo. Of these, Chandelier walks the line with appropriate subject matter being that it is about a woman's struggle with alcoholism, but I appreciate that the lyrics leave some to the imagination and I can always add the word "juicies" after every "drink." I'm going to have to give some "tove"  love to Habits, however. Love the tempo, love the chic's voice, love the unique sound, hate the fact that the chorus is, "got to stay high all the time, to keep you off my mind." You might argue that my children don't know what "high" means, but Tove Lo provides the very definition in the remaining lyrics and, quite frankly, it doesn't matter how much I love the song, I won't have my children singing about having to stay high and I don't wish to have the conversation regarding the meaning of "sex clubs" and why is she "puking in the bath tub."

All of this being said, I distinctly remember a time my friends and I would hilariously walk up and down our street, holding a boom box, listening to Wilson Philips and Roxette. The late eighties-early nineties had more censorship than today so it was less dangerous to listen to the radio with kids in the car. I was surprised that when I recently looked up those music charts I knew every song on them. I even knew the words to Do Me! by Bel Biv Divoe. Not sure how that one slipped through the cracks, but if you haven't heard it I suggest looking at those colorful lyrics. It came out in 1990. I was SIX. :)

If you've actually read this post, I've added a nostalgic musical snack for you. Enjoy!