2014- Top 20 Awkward Moments

Since I've only been writing this blog for a couple of months, I have not exactly been taking notes on awkward moments, but I thought I'd jot down this year's top twenty that I can remember off hand. Look out 2015...I'm taking notes this time!

2014- A Year of Awkward Moments

• The moment when your four year old sees someone with a facial deformity at Wal-Mart literally the day after watching “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame” and yells, “Look mommy! Quasimodo!” I could not push the cart away fast enough. Awful…just awful.

• The moment when you are 8 months pregnant and attempt to put a huge bag of dog food on the bottom of the cart at Costco and the cart goes flying and you land on your butt in the middle of the aisle. 

• The moment your husband realizes it's not you groping him from behind, but it's actually a drunk lady he trains in the gym.

•  The moment you try to introduce your children to your boss and they immediately start ramming their heads up your butt out of shyness.

• The moment your four year old runs up ahead of you at the store and yells, “Excuse me!” At first you smile because your child is showing off his manners to complete strangers. Then he yells, “I’m saying excuse me mommy because I farted all the way when I ran!”

• The moment your newborn pees all over the place while giving him his very first bath. Then Grandpa says to him, “that’s ok, I do that too!” ummm.

• The moment your five year old tells the neighbor that mommy’s job is a high school teacher and his two-month-old brother’s job is “to eat mommy’s boob.”

• The moment when you are fresh out of c-section surgery and the first person to walk through the hospital room door, seconds after they change your pad, is your mom’s new boyfriend.

• The moment the anesthesiologist comes in to give you an epidural and it’s the same lady who you wrote a formal complaint about the first time around so you burst into tears at the very sight of her.

• The moment your police officer husband asks you to go look out the front door because he thought he heard something crash into the car and possible screaming…

• The moment your son comes out of gymnastics and says, “those are the kids who don’t have manners, right mommy?” and their mom is sitting next to you.

• The moment your mom uses her sleeve to explain what foreskin is to your niece. 

•  The moment your four year old hears people talk about “The Walking Dead” on the radio and starts telling people that he loves watching “The Walking Dead” because he’s confusing it with the film, “Walking With Dinosaurs.”

• The moment you actually are watching “The Walking Dead” and your two year old sneaks out of bed for some water so you frantically try to pause it before he sees anything, only to find a grotesque face frozen on the screen.

• The moment you realize you forgot to put on your breast pads while sitting in the dentist office and the paper bib around your neck starts getting round wet spots…would you look at that, I spilled the little cup you gave me all over this bib…ooops ;0) Did I mention you used to date your dentist? YEP.

• The moment you give your husband's grandma your phone to see a funny picture of your kids and she scrolls past it only to see a "before" photo you took, fat, in your underwear, in the bathroom mirror.

• The moment your step-son says, “I love you mommy” to you in front of his real mom and then you both say, “ I love you too” in unison. 

• The moment your mom tells her cooking class, “now don’t let your balls stick together on the cookie sheet!”

• The moment your son asks in his loudest voice, “is she pregnant??” and it’s a Native American man with hair down to his waist and a large gut.- I've heard this happens to most parents at some point...

•  The moment you’ve been talking for thirty minutes to someone about your blog and they respond with, “have you ever thought about starting a blog? You should totally start one.” Ummmm, yeah…good idea?? 

 
 The photo is from this year's New Year's Eve Party:) Hope 2015 is full of more memorable awkwardness. CHEERS!