To Shower or Not to Shower

I know racism exists.   I've experienced it and witnessed it. I remember my niece and my little brother being harassed at school because they are half black. I remember friends not wanting to spend the night at my house because they were afraid of my black step-father and the taboo of an interracial couple. I remember coming back to the states after two years in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and having to defend Muslim friends during a time when people believed all Muslims were Taliban. We have come a long way, but there will always be ignorance to conquer. My opinion of the situation in Ferguson, Mo is fairly complicated because of two facts: I come from a liberal, ridiculously multicultural background and I am married to a white, police officer. On the one hand, I know there are police officers who probably should not be police officers. That goes for any profession. I know that the cycle of poverty is much harder to break than most people of privilege could ever unders...

"The physical Odyssey of making a baby is really humbling...it's like whoa. When you wake up in the morning and your house is a sort of beautiful mess...but you're with your kids you're thinking, this is the best thing I've ever done with my life." -Drew Barrymore I almost cried in Walmart today.  Not because I was having a stressful moment with my children, but because I was having a stressful moment without them.  Ever since I was young, I knew that when the time came to have children I would give them 100% of my time, my love, my care. Maybe because I was raised by a single mom who worked and went to school full time while trying to date on the weekends. The only thing I can ever remember really wanting as a child was more time with my mom. So, maybe I take it to an extreme when it comes to my own children.  Even still, I have these moments where I realize that anything I once loved doing has slowly been erased from my daily activities.  As I'...

My husband and I thought we were too cool for a mini van. Even after we drove one to Colorado and absolutely loved it, we still thought of ourselves as above the ugly, dreaded, so NOT cool mini van. Let me tell you something. YOU ARE NEVER ABOVE A MINI VAN . If you have two or more children and you think you are above getting a mini van than you are sorely mistaken.  In order for me to stay home with my children, I had to trade in my new Mazda CX9 for an old Toyota Sequoia. My husband chose this vehicle because of its third row seat and its impeccable engine. It seemed like the perfect addition to our SUPER COOL lifestyle. I mean we could totally fit three car seats and a stroller in there all while affording the car payment on one income!  Well, 6 months and three children later, this perfect car is in some desperate need for repairs. My irritations with it had already begun as I put what seemed to be an endless supply of gas into it even though I hardly leave the ho...

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I always wanted a daughter. I wanted to raise a strong, confident, independent woman. I wanted to be the mom that supported her dreams and inspired her to push beyond her own limits. I dreamt of taking her to get her nails done and helping pick out her wedding dress...Well...I was blessed with three BOYS.  Don't get me wrong, boys are awesome. It's easier to dress them and do their hair. They definitely love their momma and generally speaking they are a bit less dramatic than what I've seen of female offspring. So, I have finally gotten over the fact that we are probably done having children, therefore, I will never have a daughter.  The idea of four kids sounds impossible at this point in time.  How do we feed them and pay for sports and clothes and family trips? Can my body handle going through another pregnancy? And lets be honest, I'll probably have another boy! One of the main issues I'm having with three sons, besides the fact that I clean pee off of t...

So before you read the title and think...Whoa! Must. Run. Far. Away. From crazy feminist lady! I promise to make this as pain free as possible. There is no reason to be afraid of the word FEMINIST! I had a high school Humanities teacher who is a complete badass, worldly, intelligent and strong. She sued a former employer upon discovering she was not earning the same as her male counterparts. Recently, I have befriended her on FB and she posted something that sparked an idea in me.  It said,  "The New F-Word: FEMINIST It does not mean: man hater or lesbian, superior, chip on her shoulder, Moody/PMS, Wants a free ride, Expects equal pay for less.  What it does mean: An advocate of social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men."  That's it folks, that's what it means. There is no need to fear that word any longer. As a young woman raised by females, I was the chip on her shoulder, hard core, stereotype of a feminist. I got a ...

Those of you who caught the Beyonce reference in the title may be disappointed that this posting is not about sex. If ever I do grow the cojones to go there, it'll probably be in the far future entitled, "Naked and Afraid." Do people actually watch that show? This posting is less about the act of making small children and more about the act of getting ready with small children. When discussing this subject matter there are two things that come to mind. First, was the time I tried to get myself and my children ready to go to my husband's Cross Fit competition called Boxtoberfest. I think it is very important for the boys to watch their father being active and competitive, so despite the difficulty in taking three children to a busy public event on my own, I decided that it was worth the struggle. My biggest mistake was getting the boys ready before myself. I was thinking, if I feed, burp and change Rory after I get dressed there is always a chance he will spit up ...

So I took a shower today...In case you were wondering. It's not that I don't want to shower, it's just that taking a shower when you have three young children becomes an interesting venture to say the least. I could attempt to turn on a movie for them, but more times than not someone is crying as soon as I'm lathered up with shampoo. Then comes nap time, which can range anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. One can never know who will ring the doorbell or which dog will bark at an imaginary cat in the living room so I'm often torn between priorities during this time.  Either way, you should know that I do shower daily, just not always during nap time. This post is not about hygiene, however, it's about the shift that happens when a woman has a baby. I am not going to say I speak for all women here, because we all know the women who continue being exactly who they were prior to having children, but for me, and many women I speak to, having children changes you. ...

Music is one of the many privileges I have lost since having children. Not that I don't veto their song choices every so often, but I find myself cleaning or cooking to the Fresh Beat Band or Bubble Guppies or Elmo's Musical more often than not. I figure there comes a time in a parent's life when one must decide if   (insert action)  in peace is worth listening to the shrill sounds of happy go lucky children's shows and I have embraced my decision. My husband, on the other hand, still believes he is in control of the household (probably because his work schedule only allows him to be home on the weekends). He hasn't quite learned the idea of choosing one's battles and I watch him tirelessly choose them all. As much as I'd love to discuss the differences in mine and my husband's parenting, this post is regarding "today's top 40." I'm talking about the half hour I wait in line to pick up my eldest son from school, the quick trips to th...